PS200 Lecture Notes - Unbridled, Silent Treatment, No Substance
Document Summary
Redefine intimacy (common idea was that intimacy = sex) Three stages of love: love without knowledge = falling in love, knowledge without love = disillusionment, mature love = working at your relationship past differences (50% of couples don"t reach this level) Three levels of daily related -ness (cycle: harmony, disharmony, repair learned, not understood naturally. Wife-mandated referrals = glass ceiling-type effect where the woman has no voice and has to see all of the stuff that the husband does without him knowing what is going on. Pre-conditions for intimacy (couples/intimacy work not possible without these in place: manage psychiatric disorders = make sure each person is mentally healthy, no acting out (safety) = no violence, no affairs/escaping, no substance abuse. Create safe space to be intimate in. Men need to learn to be relational (not boomerang) Women need to learn to speak directly. No nurse it along tactic (taking both sides solves nothing)