FRHD 2100 Chapter 7: UNIT 5 CHAPTER 7
1 Jun 2018
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FRHD*2100 (DE) Chapter 7
Chapter 7: Relationships, Intimacy, and Communication
ABC(DE)’s of Romantic Relationships
• Social-Exchange Theory
– Development of a relationship reflects the unfolding of social exchanges.
– These involve the rewards and costs of maintaining a relationship compared with the
rewards and costs of ending it.
• ABC(DE) Model
– Attraction
• Define: two people become aware of and find one another appealing/enticing
– Building
• A number of factors determine whether we will develop a relationship or not
(e.g., level of attraction, similarity of attitudes).
– Continuation
• Define: after basic levels of attachment and intimacy has been established,
patterns of interaction remain stable
– Deterioration
• Define: relationship become less rewarding than it used to be
– Ending
• When partners find little satisfaction in the affiliation, when the barriers to
leaving are low, and especially, when alternative partners are available.
• Associated with distress, decrease in life satisfaction.
A Closer Look
• Online Dating—A Revolution in Matchmaking?
– Online dating is increasingly becoming an important way of finding partners (Finkel et
al., 2012):
• 1990–2000 5–10% met partners online.
• 2000–2010 20–25% met partners online.
– Has revolutionized the way couples seek partners.
– Research has examined pros and cons to online dating (Finkelet al., 2012).
FRHD*2100 (DE) Chapter 7
Pros
Cons
Access to people who are searching for
dating partners
People are reduced to a photograph
Facilitate communication between potential
partners
Things can be said too soon
Attempt to match potential partners
according to demographic variables and
personality traits
Don’t know how sites are matching
individuals together
Applied Knowledge
• Sexting and Canadian Youth
– “Sexting” refers to the sending of sexually explicit messages from one mobile phone to
another.
– Sexting has garnered much media attention.
– No Canadian research on the prevalence of sexting has been conducted.
– May break Canadian child pornography laws.
– Think carefully about what images you put on the Internet! They will never truly go
away.
ABC(DE)’s of Romantic Relationships
• Not-So-Small Talk: An Audition for Building a Relationship
– Small talk
• Definition: superficial kind of conversation that allows exchange of information
but stresses breadth of topic coverage rather than in-depth discussion
• Stresses breadth of topic coverage rather than in-depth discussion.
• A trial for friendship.
• The Opening Line
– One kind of small talk is the greeting, or opening line.
– This is usually preceded by nonverbal greetings.
– Some types of opening lines:
o Verbal salutes (e.g. Good morning)
o Personal inquires (e.g. How are you doing?)
o Compliments (e.g. I like your outfit)
o Reference to mutual surroundings (e.g. What do you think of that painting?)
o References to people or events outside the immediate setting (e.g. How do
you like this weather?)
o References to the other person’s behaviour (e.g. I couldn’t help noticing you
were sitting alone).
o References to your own behaviour, or to yourself (e.g. hi, my name is___).
FRHD*2100 (DE) Chapter 7
• Exchanging Name, Rank, and Serial Number
– Early exchanges are likely to include name, occupation, marital status, and hometown.
– Relationship progression requires the exchange of information.
– Disclosing too much may make others feel awkward.
– More common now for women to initiate contact.
– Direct opening lines are rated most effective by men and women.
• Dating in the Era of New Communication Technologies
– While most men and women find it acceptable to communicate with a potential date
online or via texting, the preferred way of asking someone out is still in person or over
the phone.
– Good for getting to know someone in advance of a date.
– New communication strategies are viewed as part of dating scripts for men and
women.
– Traditional dating norms are still in effect (i.e., men should pay).
• Self-Disclosure: You Tell Me and I’ll Tell You… Carefully
–Self-disclosure
• definition: the revelation of personal information
• Central to building an intimate relationship.
• A careful balance of enough but not too much information.
• Self-Disclosure, Social Networking and Privacy Settings Online
– Rapid self-disclosure seems to be the norm in cyberspace.
– Cyberspace allows for anonymity and enables people to control what they want to
reveal.
– Women are more likely to use higher privacy settings on SNS than are men.
– Frank sexual self-disclosure is seen on many blog sites.
• Sex Differences in Self-Disclosure
– Women are only slightly more revealing about themselves than men.
– In a New Brunswick study, students disclosed more to their dating partners about
nonsexual than sexual issues, and more about sexual likes than dislikes.
– A key factor is whether the partner also disclosed.
• Sexual Self-Disclosure
– Individuals who communicate more about their sexual likes and dislikes report higher
sexual satisfaction.
– For women, disclosing about nonsexual issues was more associated with sexual
satisfaction than disclosing sexual issues.
– For men, there is a direct relationship between sexual disclosure and sexual
satisfaction.
– Culture influences sexual self-disclosure.
Document Summary
Development of a relationship reflects the unfolding of social exchanges. Online dating is increasingly becoming an important way of finding partners (finkel et: 1990 2000 5 10% met partners online, 2000 2010 20 25% met partners online. Has revolutionized the way couples seek partners. Research has examined pros and cons to online dating (finkelet al. , 2012). A closer look: online dating a revolution in matchmaking? al. , 2012): Access to people who are searching for dating partners. Attempt to match potential partners according to demographic variables and personality traits. Don"t know how sites are matching individuals together. Sexting refers to the sending of sexually explicit messages from one mobile phone to. No canadian research on the prevalence of sexting has been conducted. Think carefully about what images you put on the internet! They will never truly go: sexting and canadian youth another. away.
