WRD 104 Lecture 4: peer review

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The primary claim i took out of this paper was that higher education is flawed and after reading and watching edmundson and ray your perspective has changed. I saw a lot of forwarding being used in your essay but not much countering. I think you should definitely make sure to incorporate the voice of the opposing side of your argument to broaden your audience and so that the reader won"t think you"re only one-sided. Your conclusion was very well written and i felt like you did a job informing your reader how the video and text changed your perspective on higher education. It was summarized great but you might want to touch on how all the main ideas connect back to your thesis: evaluate the essay. The current draft is strong in the sense that you go into detail a lot and give a couple outside sources to support your claim. You do a great job in analyzing the quotes.

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