HDFS 1070 Lecture Notes - Lecture 26: Silent Treatment
6 Oct 2016
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Identity disruption: behavior that discounts or disrupts identity. When goals mismatched, one partner needs to compromise=tension/dilemma. Equity/fairness issues: most couples don"t tolerate unfairness (not necessarily equality) Trust in a person- tolerate certain degree of injustice, individual threshold. Simple misunderstandings: don"t get clarified, sequence into conflicts. Occurs when partner frames message in different way than it was intended- they feel hurt/taken advantage of. Can either meta-communicate or continue the fight (more common) Avoid/ignore conflict situations, conversation happens later/not at all (apologize no matter what- placating) Anxious about ability to manage conflict, how fragile relationship is, entertaining conflict will undermine/void relationship. How to structure communication exchanges to reach goal. Very critical of partner (you"re incompetent, make them feel bad, ashamed, guilty, inconsiderate, attack character, self concept/esteem, pick at vulnerabilities) Know how to manipulate partner the closer the relationship, chopping away at foundation of relationship, only so many times you can attack someone"s character.
