CRS-1200 Lecture 3: Lecture 3 Continued: Four Horsemen (CRS Theory)
24 Jun 2018
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Gottman, 1999) is a way to review the types of
communicative methods in a conflict. If a conflict starts with a critical start up, it is likely to
escalate quickly and lead to destruction. !
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An example below will be used to describe this event in detail.!
A conflict arises between two brothers, Derek and Jordan, because they have different
perspectives on what is considered clean. "
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The first stage arises, criticism."
$Derek starts by orally attacking Jordan’s character or personality by stating that:"
$$“Jordan, you are a pig! You NEVER clean’s up after yourself.”"
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The second stage, contempt, is seen as a negative escalation of the one party’s
communication."
$Jordan walks away from the conversation; Derek escalates this by attacking Jordan’s"
$sense of self and has an intent to harm:!
$$“Of course you are walking away, just like you walk away from all responsibility!”"
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The third stage, defensiveness then occurs due to the escalation."
$Jordan starts reversing the blame, as he wants to ward off the perceived attack."
$$“You are literally crazy. All you do is clean, its insane! You don’t even have a life.”"
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The final stage, stonewalling, is seen as a very negative outcome as communication lessens or
stops entirely."
$Jordan starts to withdraw from the conflict, as he wants to distance and separate
himself from Derek’s harmful actions. Jordan eventually moves out of the shared house with
Derek, then refuses to contact him entirely. !
Criticizing
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Contempt
Document Summary
The four horsemen of the apocalypse (gottman, 1999) is a way to review the types of communicative methods in a con ict. If a con ict starts with a critical start up, it is likely to escalate quickly and lead to destruction. An example below will be used to describe this event in detail. A con ict arises between two brothers, derek and jordan, because they have di erent perspectives on what is considered clean. Derek starts by orally attacking jordan"s character or personality by stating that: The second stage, contempt, is seen as a negative escalation of the one party"s communication. Jordan walks away from the conversation; derek escalates this by attacking jordan"s sense of self and has an intent to harm: Of course you are walking away, just like you walk away from all responsibility! . The third stage, defensiveness then occurs due to the escalation.
